Cherising Others Through Affirmations

I recently began the practice of keeping a daily journal dedicated solely for how I was feeling about my husband, Robert. We have been married for a little over 10 years now, and on Valentine’s Day, I had hoped he would surprise me with a nice gift or a little note. When he did not, I did what I felt most wives/moms/women would do… sulked and gave him the silent treatment. Later that evening, I read my daily email devotional. Oddly enough, it was written by a husband who was also struggling to focus on lovely qualities about his wife.

He’d begun keeping a journal about his wife, but it wasn’t JUST any journal. It was a journal of only “affirming” qualities he noted about his spouse. His journal was focused on those qualities that would help him to cherish his wife and their marriage. At Christmas time, this man presented his year-long journal to his wife and she read every passage he had written about her. Everything he had written was an affirmation, and a confirmation of how much he cherished and loved his wife. As I finished reading the devotional and seeing how much this man had changed his attitude and relationship with his wife, I began my own journal as well. Not so much for Robert to see what I am writing about him, but for me to remember why I married him 10 years ago.304737_4014893424896_536202511_n

Words, or even one word, are powerful. When I think about the years I spent with my spouse and this past Valentine’s Day, I had to think about our wedding vows. We both promised to love, honor, and cherish each other all the days of our lives. Do I love my husband? Yes. Have I honored him? I hesitate a little, but I do the best I can in honoring him. However, do I show him that I cherish him? Not always. The other two mean nothing if I do not show and truly do cherish my spouse. What better way to begin rekindling and reminding myself of all the reasons I married Robert than to focus on what is affirming in him?

Affirmations can change your life in so many ways. Just ask the JD Journal (see Affirmations have the power to manifest themselves based on how we talk to ourselves, or self-talk. When we speak negatively, we are putting out into the ions that negativity that has the potential to come back to bite us. However, if we speak positively, or put positive affirmations out into the universe, it will come back to us. If a person only ever spoke negatively or heard negative things all day long, that person is more likely to have that same kind of day. Multiply that by every single day it happens, then that same person is most likely a miserable soul. If you cancel these negative words, thoughts, or even people out of your surroundings, and begin positive affirmations, you change. Your situation may not change, but you change, and even change the way you react to your situation.

In The Last Prophet book series, my main character focuses very much on affirmations rather than negative self-talk. Dr. Sophia Randall is very much a therapist who uses solution-focused counseling methods to get her clients out of negative self-talk. As the prophetess, however, she also uses affirmations to focus on the goodness that inherently exists in each one of us. We, as she states in Book Five, Raziel’s Revelation (coming in 2017), were created by love, for love, to love, and that means that malice and hate have no place in us as Children of our Creator. When we speak goodness and positivity into the atmosphere – into the universe – we speak what we want to attract. Our greatest desire should be to attract and send out goodness – affirmations.

I took this bit of advice and began my journal that night on Valentine’s Day. It has only been a week since I began, and already I have noticed a significant shift in my behavior and attitude toward Robert. When I force myself to focus only on his personal qualities that I cherish, I change how I think of him to being affirming. I am choosing to build him up back into the man I fell in love with 10 years ago. I am choosing to affirm him and our marriage. Even on those days when he is being especially ornery or stubborn, I have found something affirming to say about him in my journal.

Mind you, this journey of his affirmation and cherishing journal have only begun, but if I am able to see the changes in my attitude toward him in just a week, I can only imagine what the rest of the year holds for us. I have not told Robert what I am doing, but I suspect he knows something is up since he seems to glance over at me whenever I am sitting at the table and handwriting in my journal rather than typing away on my laptop trying to finish up my latest book. It is my hope he notices the changes in my behavior and how I treat him, rather than wonder what I’m doing in my journal. Perhaps this practice will be ongoing for the rest of our married life together… and beyond.

Is there someone you need to affirm today? How will you show you cherish them? Comment in the space provided.

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