First and foremost, I feel the need to apologize to my readers and those who follow my blog posts over the past several weeks. Some may have noticed that I have been writing about a friend who was temperamental and causing me a great deal of sadness and woe. Although this friend had certainly been a source of grief for me, it wasn’t until I read a devotional this morning that I realized that I caused others the same amount of grief (see devotional for Friday, April 29, 2016 at http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo).
You see, I had used this grief and this burden of my friend as the topic of many blog posts. Not only was my friend the topic of my blog posts, but he was also the center of attention in many of my complaints and venting sessions with other friends who lent me their ears and shoulders to cry on. By going to others and complaining to them about my friend, I was actually planting seeds of negativity. By planting seeds of negativity, I was spreading my grief to others. That grief was not theirs to carry. In fact, such a burden isn’t always necessary to share.
While I’m sure my other friends knew I was simply venting and releasing my pent up frustrations and hurts, I ran the risk of poisoning their minds, hearts, and spirits. It takes a very strong person to be able to absorb such negativity and release it far from oneself after taking it all in. I am not that strong, because I felt myself going from one friend to another complaining about this one “problem” friend. Not only did it taint my friends’ perceptions of our other friend, but it also showed them a side of me that was relatively negative as well.
In the devotional I mentioned, the author mentions that by spreading our personal frustrations, irritations, and ugliness we plant seeds of negativity that sprout into weeds affecting our life, our thoughts, and our words. Doing so, as I mentioned, poisons us, and just like a poison in the body, so too does poison on our words and thoughts become toxic to our lives. However, unlike poison we ingest, we have the power to stop the poison’s spread. We have the power to stop harming ourselves by ceasing to spread negativity, and choosing instead to spread positivity, love, and compassion.
In my book series, The Last Prophet (Books One through Five), our main characters see the short and long term effects of negative words, thoughts, and actions. This is especially true when such toxicity is allowed to fester and turn into bitterness in our spirit. But as stated above, these can change if we choose to focus instead on that which is good, and especially on a SOLUTION to the issue at hand. So often we focus on the problem and we glorify said problem or problems by simply complaining about it to one or more individuals we feel close to. In the book series, our main character, Dr. Sophia Randall, tells us to focus on a solution to the problem in order for us to move forward, rather than dwelling on what we know is the issue at hand.
By dwelling on the problem, we get nowhere. By focusing on the solution, we take power away from the negative and put ourselves in a position of controlling what is possible – the solution-focused way. Whether you use prayer, Scripture reading, meditation, positive or inspirational thoughts, or talking to a friend with incredible spiritual uplifting skills, the choice is ours. We can choose to sow seeds of negativity, and cause an undue burden and grief to others, OR we can choose to focus on solutions and let it go. From now on, I am choosing to let it go.
Have you sown seeds of grief or seeds of hope? What do you need to let go? Comment in the space provided.
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